t h e i n t i m a t e s t r a n g e r

Free falling

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These 20 minutes will be absolutely worth whatever else you are thinking of doing instead.

Here are some excerpts:

“Connection is why we’re here, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives….

“Shame is…. the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see, that I won’t be worthy of connection….

“What underpinned this shame, this “I’m not good enough”…. was this excruciating vulnerability, this idea of in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen….

“There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, and (those who) really struggled for it. And that was: the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believed they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it — they believed they were worthy….

“COURAGE – To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart…. the courage to be imperfect….

“COMPASSION – To be kind to themselves first and then to others, because…. we can’t practise compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly….

“CONNECTION — As a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were….

“VULNERABILITY — They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable, made them beautiful…. the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first; to do something where there are no guarantees; the willingness to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out….

“You cannot selectively numb emotions. You can’t say, here’s the bad stuff — here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment — I don’t want to feel these…. You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects or emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness….

“Let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen….

“Love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee….

“Practise gratitude and joy in those moments that kind of tear when we’re wondering ‘Can I love you this much’, ‘Can I believe in this as passionately’, ‘Can I be this fierce about this’ — just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophying (sic) what might happen to say ‘I’m just so grateful’ — because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive….

“Believe that we’re enough, because when we work from a place that says ‘I’m enough’, then we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 6th, 2011 at 2:43 am

Posted in who am i

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