t h e i n t i m a t e s t r a n g e r

Positive Programming

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“It’s very difficult to stop thinking of something if you try to stop thinking of it. For example, right now I want you to stop thinking of purple bananas. Come on, try harder. Stop of thinking of purple bananas! No more purple bananas! By now, your mind is probably full of thoughts and images of purple bananas….

How many times have you said to yourself, “I’m not going to do (fill in an unwanted behavior) anymore.” How successful were you at changing your behavior by talking to yourself that way? Probably not very successful. There is a school of thoughts that says the right brain doesn’t hear negatives. If that is so, what are you actually hearing when you say, “I’m not going to yell at my kids.”? Your left brain hears that exact phrase, but your right brain hears, “I’m going to yell at my kids.” That sets up an internal conflict, which intensifies your struggle with the behavior you want to change….

You can begin working on consciously changing your thought patterns. You can construct positive thoughts that reinforce the new, positive beliefs you’re choosing. When you’re constructing these positive thoughts, avoid negative words like “don’t”, “not” and “never”. The problem with these words is that they are always in sentences that reinforce the negative. For example, “I am safe and secure” works much better than “I am not afraid.” The phrase “I am not afraid” reinforces being afraid.

The positive sentences you create for yourself will reflect the kind of life you would like to be experiencing. By creating them, you’re creating an image of that life. Once you have them in mind, whenever habitual negative thoughts arise — and they will, it’s how the brain functions — you can replace them with positive expressions of who you are and the life you want to have. Do that often enough and you’ll find the old habitual thoughts dissolving and new, positive thoughts taking their place.”

- The Secret Language of Feelings, Calvin D Banyan

Written by The Intimate Stranger

January 9th, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Posted in uncategorised

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