t h e i n t i m a t e s t r a n g e r

Day 44 – Heavy

without comments

Woke with a great heaviness upon my heart….

I know why it is I feel thus….

I have to remember that this is temporary; that I can work through this and there is a way out. At least I’m getting sleep again. Now to remind myself that I actually need to eat as well.

I hope this doesn’t take too long…. but for now, I must be patient and I must not lose hope.

“Each of us, deep down, we know what we really want. It’s just a matter of actually doing it.”

~ Motivational Speaker Jordan Price, Dexter (not quite the role model if you follow the series, but you get the drift)

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My head is not a good place to be in now.

One moment, I’m floundering in quicksand, slowly descending into the madness of darkness….

And then it’s as if everything in the past few months was only a very, very bad dream that I’ve just woken up from, and I’m back to my ‘normal’ self again and functioning. (I know one day, this will come to be – maybe even in a few weeks’ time, who knows?)

If you’d been to where I am now (though I truly wish you hadn’t and never would), maybe you’ll understand what it’s like to doubt and question the core of your existence.

If you don’t, I’m truly glad for you, and I apologise if I unsettle you with my odd behaviour as I go about picking up the pieces of my life.

Written by The Intimate Stranger

November 27th, 2010 at 8:25 am

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