t h e i n t i m a t e s t r a n g e r

Day 15 – Flicker of light

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Like the ominous greyness that went away as quietly as it had first descended (thank you Sumatra!), the fog of shadows and whispers surrounding me seems to have retreated – for now.

Over the weekend and the early part of the week, my anxiety levels were high – so high I couldn’t even focus during the counselling session which was intended to help me; that I was also asked (not by my counsellor), and was myself open, to consider medical aid if just to tide myself over the next few weeks on the work front – work is work afterall, and I have been given a lot of space to breathe the last two weeks.

I don’t know what it was I had done that was different. Maybe this is just one of my many upswings – albeit the longest so far, 1.5 days and counting. Maybe it’s dumping endorphins into my system before going to work every morning (thank you Robin Sharma!). Maybe it’s just acknowledging and speaking about my anxieties. Maybe it’s about reaching out and asking for help and getting it. Maybe it’s having that brief moment of clarity to think through my state(s) of mind and arriving at a realisation or two.

Nevertheless, I am glad for the respite….

And I am still amazed at how supportive and very, very nice my new boss has been – in spite of everything.

And that in the midst of all this shit and feeling as if my fortunes have taken a 180-degree turn within a few months, all is not lost. I really am lucky, aren’t I?

Right now, I am feeling thankful – in spite of everything.

Written by The Intimate Stranger

October 29th, 2010 at 12:27 am

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