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Archive for February, 2011

Jupiter conjunction Sun

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“Traditionally this is considered one of the most marvelous influences, and indeed it is quite good. At the very least, you will feel good at this time. Your health is good, and you feel very optimistic. For a while it may seem that everything is working out perfectly, and if you make an effort, it will. But if you simply sit back and enjoy this time, its beneficent influence will pass away with little to show for it afterward. This is the beginning of a new twelve-year cycle of growth in your life. It is a time to initiate new projects and expand your activities so that you can experience life from a broader perspective. You may find that you can escape from some narrowing and inhibiting circumstance that has prevented you from realizing your full potential as a human being. Sometimes people travel under this configuration, but usually the traveling is more in the mind. This is a good time to study a subject that raises your consciousness or expands your view of the world, and it is an excellent time for going back to school. You may also meet new people who expose you to aspects of life that you have never known before. Your freedom will certainly increase. Even with this influence there are some pitfalls. First of all, your exuberant optimism can cause you to overdo or overreach yourself, so that when this time is over, you find yourself out on the proverbial limb. Exercise a certain amount of restraint and build upon what you have rather than trying to increase your holdings beyond your ability to handle them. Be careful of extravagance, and if you invest money, remember that today’s luck is not permanent.”

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Is this for real? Am I dreaming? How did I go from that…. to this – so quickly?

I listen to you describe this…. other person. Yet, I know she’s real. I know she’s me. And it’s all so surreal.

What happens if all this ends tomorrow?

What happens to me then?

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“See the things that you want as already yours. Know that they will come to you at need. Then let them come. Don’t fret and worry about them. Don’t think about your lack of them. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession.”

~ Robert Collier (1885-1950)

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 28th, 2011 at 12:36 am

Posted in who am i

Freed

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“Completing unfinished business from the past and finding the resources to fuel your ambitions are critical issues you may encounter around February 25, when Jupiter’s balloon of hope runs into a stressful square with penetrating Pluto.”

25 February?

Hmmm.

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I find myself thinking about how my relationships with people will change, and they will change — particularly people who have become used to who I was. How will they respond to these changes and will they still be able to accept me?

I also find myself thinking that I really don’t care whether they do, or not.

Because, I need to be who I need to be.

And because, this is what I want.

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 24th, 2011 at 1:49 am

Posted in who am i

I wish you enough

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Excerpt from Paulo Coelho’s blog:

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.”

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Day by day, I feel just a little better about myself, about who I am, and am becoming — more than I ever have.

And this realisation, in moments when I am quietly contemplating myself and the present, is such an amazing feeling, the emotions start flooding my eyes again.

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 20th, 2011 at 1:40 am

Posted in uncategorised

Too many thoughts

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For some reason, sleep has been… difficult, and immensely frustrating the past several nights. It’s been taking me more than an hour (instead of the usual few minutes) to fall asleep, and then I just keep waking up throughout the night and spending several more minutes trying to go back to sleep.

There are just too many thoughts running through my head, screaming to be heard. It feels as if there’s this other part of me that’s only just emerged from dormancy and she’s making her voice and presence felt. This is good actually, but I really wish she would let me sleep!

It certainly doesn’t help that I’ve been feeling achy again and that keeps me awake too. Damn rheumatism.

And the problem also with being so sleep-deprived is that I start to lose my inhibitions…. ok, there’s good and bad to that, depending on who’s on the receiving end. Laugh.

Looks like I really need to get away for a while, and let these thoughts have the full attention they deserve. There are just too many…. distractions here.

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 12th, 2011 at 12:29 am

Posted in who am i

Free falling

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These 20 minutes will be absolutely worth whatever else you are thinking of doing instead.

Here are some excerpts:

“Connection is why we’re here, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives….

“Shame is…. the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see, that I won’t be worthy of connection….

“What underpinned this shame, this “I’m not good enough”…. was this excruciating vulnerability, this idea of in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen….

“There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, and (those who) really struggled for it. And that was: the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believed they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it — they believed they were worthy….

“COURAGE – To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart…. the courage to be imperfect….

“COMPASSION – To be kind to themselves first and then to others, because…. we can’t practise compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly….

“CONNECTION — As a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were….

“VULNERABILITY — They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable, made them beautiful…. the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first; to do something where there are no guarantees; the willingness to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out….

“You cannot selectively numb emotions. You can’t say, here’s the bad stuff — here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment — I don’t want to feel these…. You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects or emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness….

“Let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen….

“Love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee….

“Practise gratitude and joy in those moments that kind of tear when we’re wondering ‘Can I love you this much’, ‘Can I believe in this as passionately’, ‘Can I be this fierce about this’ — just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophying (sic) what might happen to say ‘I’m just so grateful’ — because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive….

“Believe that we’re enough, because when we work from a place that says ‘I’m enough’, then we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

Written by The Intimate Stranger

February 6th, 2011 at 2:43 am

Posted in who am i