Eyes drop out already

Enchanted: Funny. Hehe.

Lust, Caution: Wah, testicles!

Beowulf: Performance capture - interesting.

Ok, not very intelligent comments. But I'm sleepy and red-eyed after 3 back-to-back movies okay.

Oh, this is interesting. I just showed my mum this, and even as she is looking at the screen while I'm explaining about the test, mum reported that the woman was 'changed directions' every few seconds. Heh.

Finger Throat Gag

He apologised for not "bringing me along to Pattaya" because it was "not a place for ladies". (His idea of "bringing me" being persuading my boss to bring me along - I don't actually know if he did make that call. Roll eyes.)

WTF?!! Like, even if I did attend the conference, it would have been as part of MY company's delegation. What was that about "bringing" me along? I'm not a piece of luggage!!!

And he got his secretary to convey the message to me. Oh god. What kind of message is that to pass through your staff?!! WTF right?!!

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After a bad serving of one of my favourite foods, I would usually be looking for a "revenge meal". So let's say I had bad vongole pasta, I would then be craving the dish for the next few weeks or months, until I found a place which served it well, and I would then have had my "revenge vongole pasta".

Let's just say I hope to have my "revenge tao-hua-yun" this weekend ;-)

Meanwhile, in the not so distant future, how the hell am I supposed to survive Enchanted, Lust, Caution and Beowulf back-to-back tomorrow? It's official: The Best Friend - who planned the movie marathon - is insane.

The Law of Attraction

"What most people don't understand is that a thought has a frequency. We can measure a thought. And so if you're thinking that thought over and over and over again, if you're imagining in your mind having that brand new car, having the money that you need, building that company, finding your soul mate . . . if you're imagining what that looks like, you're emitting that frequency on a consistent basis . . . Here's the problem. Most people are thinking about what they don't want, and they're wondering why it shows up over and over again."

~ John Assaraf in The Secret

By mid-day at the start of the week - that dreaded Monday which is the bane of the working class - I just wanted to drag my face home (it was longer than usual, ok?) and indulge in some virtual carnage. Everything was fucking up in the office. Oh, they weren't big things. (Which is probably the only reason why I still have a job!) At first, it was just this, and then that, and this and %!!@#that and whatthefuckthis too?!! and well, you get the picture. Everything seemed to be falling apart (since middle of last week actually) and I just couldn't understand why. It almost felt like something had changed.

So I wasn't exactly looking forward to dragging my face into town to meet LMD to discuss my retirement plan over dinner. But I didn't cancel - mostly because I didn't think I should 'spoil' someone else's day because mine was.

We didn't spend much time talking about my retirement. It's hard to imagine, much less plan for something that feels like light years away when my priorities these days seem to be attending to immediate work. Heck, I don't even have time to get down to planning work, much less my personal life.

I did feel much better sometime into the night though, after some alcohol and gossiping about mutual friends talking about more pleasant topics.

Then LMD asked if I had heard about 'manifestations' and The Secret . . .

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I had known about the book for a few months now. In fact, SF had just given me my own copy.

I was skeptical; not so much whether The Secret worked, but the mysticism - in my opinion - surrounding the idea behind the book. I started reading self-help books when I was in my early teens and already knew all about it being "in your own mind" and that nothing was impossible if you only "believed".

I stopped believing as I grew older - or perhaps I didn't have the mental tenacity in those early years to continue believing, in spite and despite. And my innate pessimism got the better of me - it was so much easier to just go back to "the old ways".

In the past few years, I tried - on and off - to work on my, shall we say, personal development. I could see the results and there was some progress.

And again, I would go back to "the old ways" because it was easier and it was my comfort zone - though ironically, not the happiest place to be.

But, older and more self-aware now, I could no longer deny that I also took perverse relish in this inner darkness . . .

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I thought about the last several months and the recent weeks. Some things clicked.

Strange how I would be doing all this for "the greater good" - cliched but in a practical sense, very true - rather than for myself . . .

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And oh yes, that antenna of mine is a little misaligned - a couple of the encounters were rather traumatic.

But at least I figured out that it is in working condition . . .

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"He is a Catholic."

Given my prejudices about people who are too eager to declare and demonstrate their religious beliefs, that freaked me out and put me on the defensive immediately.

But we'll see how it goes - that is, when I get down to responding to the proposal about an introduction. (Cannot appear too eager, right, girls?)

In Retrospect

"In the 9th lunar month from 19 October to 18 November 2007, you will receive favour in work. You will have a lot of drive. Your juniors will look at you differently and respect you. But you must have confidence in yourself, whether in work or love. Do not be undecided. Be more decisive and not worry too much. The more you worry, you will lose many opportunities."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And inhaling...

I've been busy. So there.

Turn Left, Turn Right

Okay, you can wipe off the nose bleed now, heh.

So, this is one of those visual tests If you see the woman spinning clockwise you are using your right brain (feeling). If you see her spinning anti-clockwise, you are using the left brain (logic). Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way. And apparently, if you try to see it the other way and succeed, your IQ is above 160 which means you are a genius (rrrrright).

It's amazing, no?

Now, you'll excuse me while I go back to drooling, I mean, trying to see if I can think logically.

Day 278


Oh yes, TWO in a row too. Sniffs air. Someone up there must be trying to tell me something, yes?

So, I now know that a work contact will be flying Business Class to London for "a personal holiday". Oh yes, "a personal holiday" - repeated in case I did not get it the first AND the second time. (But what I would really, really, want to know was why she said she did not like "duck" when I asked her about The Fat Duck.)

The next day, someone else volunteered her shopping list in Paris, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt that it was just the usual girl-talk, which actually turned out to be more of a mono-I-talk-you-ooh-and-aah-logue, and by the way, she had just found out we were the same age (8 months younger than me, actually), and how come she never saw me around in school, and why wasn't I dating and maybe she should get The Master to release me from work earlier? Righttt. So I guess a certain 30-something-accomplished-in-everything-else-BUT needn't feel so bad about her singlehood if another 30-something-far-less-accomplished-in-everything-else-including-BUT was also still gathering dust on the shelf.

As you can tell by now, I found all that rather distasteful - though I didn't go away feeling bad about myself since these were just people from work (so I wouldn't be investing much emotional interest in either relationship). I was more, shall we say, bemused by all that posturing, which was not unlike small yelpy dogs straining against their leashes at the sight of bigger dogs. I'll'd like to think they just need to mouth off every so often to everyone and anyone, and that it was not the case that they simply couldn't resist an "easy conquest" (especially when they know, and I know, that there is really no basis for comparison; so how about picking on someone your own size???). Now, that would be really distasteful.

I've always, and still, feel that money can buy happiness in many ways (though not happiness per se).

Now, if only someone could look into bottling class too.