She wondered why some women "let themselves go", especially after marriage. The 30-ish woman was androgynously dressed in a nondescript white T-shirt and dated jeans, and had a short shapeless haircut. I figured that for some women, once the grooming (if any) and overt expression of femininity had served its purpose - to snag a mate - it was no longer necessary. Or perhaps, these women took "looks don't matter" to the extreme.
When a woman can't be bothered to put some effort into her appearance - which can be as simple as putting on lipstick or styling her hair - does it reflect on her sense of self-worth? (Not talking about plastic surgery, or busting her card on make-up and fashion.) When she doesn't see the need to continue to look good for her partner, does it reflect on the level of respect and emotional investment in a relationship?
On a related note, is it too much to expect that your partner will put in as much effort as you do in your appearance? Put another way, if a sloppily dressed man, who you could also tell has had one too many kegs over the past few years, told you that he only dated slim and well-groomed women, what would you think?
Today's readsHot house in the making, yes?
Having problems with Single, Deviant and Unproductive citizens who are not contributing more bawling babies to your tiny island of economically-sized public housing and increasingly cost-recovering public transport? Hallo! Time to rethink your housing policies for the singles - why wait until they're way past their "prime" at 35? In fact, let's have Bachelor Flats! (I don't think Spinster Flats will swing it for the singles.) Imagine all those wasted eggs and reckless abandonment of sperm! Tsk tsk!
"I hit the rear of another car and offered to pay for the minor damages, expecting a bill of a couple of hundred dollars. But because I offered to pay, the final bill amounted to a couple of thousand dollars. I checked the invoice and found that the car was given an entire repainting! That is why it is so important to have a well-designed insurance plan that contains co-payment by the patient, and a mechanism to cut out frivolous demand."
Fwah! Minister also you dare to screw. Must be never die before.
SightsWatching Xena the Warrior Puppy play with my youngest sister, you can tell that the dog loves her most. There is a tenderness in her brown eyes and the lift of her neck, and a whimsical quality in the play. Whereas with the rest of the family, when she performs for treats or pushes herself into our arms for rubs, there is always a hint of contempt or detachment.
WOW(Click on the pool.) Awesome make-out spot. Sans curious other people of course. Laugh.
TodayNeed a proper computer chair to replace the one that's falling apart. Keep falling asleep on the too comfortable chaise that's doubling up in the meantime.
How to say "NO"Telemarketer: "Hello, I'm calling from XXX travel agency ... your handphone number has been selected ... 5D4N Phuket tour ... like you to come down and collect ... are you free tonight, or tomorrow?"
Strike One: "Sorry, I'm not free."
Telemarketer: " ... "
Strike Two: "Sorry, I don't have time to go on a holiday."
Telemarketer: " ... "
Strike Three: "I don't have time to come down for stupid, long talks, ok?"
Telemarketer: "Oh... then it's ok..."
And you're so out.
Happy happy joy joyWah, I actually won something :-) Hop.
I:"... and I get to bring a friend."
HmmmThe little "boy" from next door came over to pass me some documents. He called out to me while I was huddled over my mountain of work: "My dear!" Big smile. Erm... someone's in a very good mood today, yes? Raise eyebrow.
A new creature is joining us next week. I call him The Elf. Us animals in the zoo are looking forward to some relief from our mind-numbing existence.
The Lollipop GirlThe Lollipop Girl (culled from Re-minisce) figured there was no female pastor in certain churches, like those run by brethrens, because of Eve and an apple, which henceforth deemed women "unsuitable". You see (I hope you do, because I don't), a woman pastor might distract the congregation with her charm.
Interesting how different people make of their religion.
What am IThe Sonnet. Via DW.
InfectedI've got "Backdoor.blarul" and "W32.Mydoom.A@mm.enc". Ah, crap. Cleaning up is not my idea of bedtime entertainment.
Moving picturesI want TO watch Il Mare.
Poetry in motion"love is a welcome intrusion
an invasion you wanted
a violation we need"
- Poetry in the Flesh II
Game for performance poetry this weekend? Friday, 27 February at 1930h OR Saturday 28 February at 1530h. Siglap South Community Centre. S$12. (Thanks to Jo-Tsze.)
Hmmm... clubbing... or blading... or poetry... decisions... decisions...
Moving picturesTear. Bye bye, Carrie.
All good things must come to an end.
Random conversationsI: "he's very innocent. goondu dog. only know how to eat and play. not like the other dog, more sly."
P: "u prefer goondu or sly dog?"
I: "both are my dogs, both i love."
P: "ok tats cool."
I: "but currently i love this one more. coz he soooo handsome. hehehehe. and when he look at me with those big dopey eyes i melt like ice cream."
Suffer the little childrenThe mother continued her saunter as her very young kid tottered excitedly up the footpath, onto the cycling / blading track, into the paths of two grown men on blades, in succession. It was a a roadkill just waiting to happen - and she just didn't care - but the men managed quick swerves to avoid the child. No cries of warning came from the nonchalant woman throughout.
I never stop wondering why the incidence of children being killed is lower than fatal road accidents.
More chicken runNext weekend's trip to Bangkok has been called off because of this. SF and L plead "bluish-purple chicken feet".
What am IYou're a mermaid. The stereotypical mermaid had a long, fish-like tail that blended with the human torso at the hips and almost white skin with red hair or some off color like green or blue. They were the most fantastic singers and the siren type of mermaids would lure sailors with their lovely lullaby into dangerous rocks. They were mostly harmless and peaceful and they were content to simply sit on the beach combing their hair or in the water playing with friends. They never wore clothes and were always women. They were sweet and a little deceitful at times.
Chicken run"When I got home, I was shocked to discover a pair of bluish-purple chicken feet which looked quite abnormal compared to the other."
Maybe the chickens got cold feet on their way to the chopping blocks of martyrdom? Laugh.
When boy meets girlThis is so, sooo, funny - in a nasty sort of way ;-) Heh. Heh. Heh.
Actually, an Intellectual Whore's quite nice to have around. (Except the part where you have to kick him into the Abyss if he attempts The Leap from the Friends Ladder to the Real Ladder.)
And then, there's the Wannabe Intellectual Whore, who wants you to think that he has what you want UP there, hoping it would be a prelude to what he's got waiting for you further south. Unfortunately, all he has UP there are his balls around his neck. You can spot his kind easily because Wannabes can't keep it up for long, and eventually resort to cheap snipes like "You are too smart to be a woman" or "You're bitchy/proud but I'm lovin' it" to reclaim their pride while trying to bring you down to their level. (Thereby, ensuring themselves a permanent rung on the Friends Ladder, if not an express trip to the Abyss.) And yeah, they probably have seen every single episode of "Will and Grace" because Grace reminds him of you.
SF doesn't believe that men and women can be friends because there is always at least a latent attraction somewhere. This is especially so for men. And men never really do take women off their ladders, though the rung they occupy might change.
Cultural apathyWe were only ten minutes late but the play had already started. So, there we were, waiting outside The Black Box for the first interval, sitting quietly in the dark or chatting about the day's events. We were not your cultural types, and were only there because someone had passed us free tickets. Otherwise, we would have been more upset about missing an entire 20 minutes of the play. And we didn't care if the actors would be demoralised when they saw the empty rows in the house - we certainly weren't rabid fans who would charge the doors, shouting to be let in to see our local talents. Dispassion for the local arts scene aside, we didn't pay for the tickets, so we knew we didn't have a case even under the recently amended Consumer Protection (Fair Trading) Bill.
Fluid dynamicsThe shuddering cold was soon overrun by the familiar fire coursing through my blood; flooding my mind with a crisp consciousness; my senses awakening. The hungry sounds of measured breaths and the pounding of my heart against the back of my hands, telling me I'm very much "alive". It has been a mind-numbing week.
Had a quick evening fix in the pool before returning to work - a saner alternative to feeling "alive" without resorting to needles and strange-looking shop assistants (though my faithful friend enjoys the vicarious experience of my strange fancies). Talking about which, the little silver dolphin decided to detach itself from the navel piece, and made a bid for freedom into the murky toilet bowl. Pink! Sigh...
Words. So many. Swimming in my head. Not enough time. Not enough sleep. Zzzzz...
Rants"Grand old age of 28." Old??? Grand??? I swear I'll throttle the next twenty-something who whines about being old.
"At 28 (some say 29), will there still be space for newness in my life?" Oh? You'll be surprised...
0253 hoursGot home past midnight from work. Can't wait for the weekend. Meanwhile, the sleep debt grows fat, feeding on my waking moments, dulling my senses. Though, the disjointed dreams are fewer; or maybe they don't leave as many vague sticky fingerprints behind. How apt that I'm now on The Sandman's Preludes and Nocturnes. (Late bloomer, I know.) Had picked up a birthday present from Kinokuniya last week, and found myself in Comics, drooling over the hard covers and art. I'm a marketer's dream - give me good packaging and I'm all yours :-)
A few hours hence, The Armpit Wars resume for the hobbits of The Lion City. Snicker. I thank my heels that I don't have to go nose to pit that often on the trains. Ah, the crisp freshness of unpitted air. Laugh!
Sleep-deprived rantsHow do you de-jinx a room? You know, the ritual cleansing feng shui mumbo jumbo. Bet you've never known anyone so reluctant to give up her cubicle to move into a proper room (to make space for the new staff). I don't suppose telling my boss that gremlims have jinxed the room would look too good in my staff assessment folder, eh? Yeah, she's a hard worker, fast, performs above expectations, but just a few marbles short upstairs.
BTW, WEN JIE!!! Quit reading my blog during office hours, get off your ass, and upload those wedding shots already! I wanna post your handsome face on my blog for everybody to see!!! Hurry up lehhh... what the cheese are you waiting for?!?!
Déjà vuThe affair ended as quickly as it started. All within a week. Because of a little card that M gave him. He went looking for another embodiment of the one that he had given up. He found it - but not her. The closer he got, the farther he ran; he confessed as much that he had never gotten over the one he walked out on. Ironical, isn't it?
Today's readsFinger talk. Ooooo... looks like I should be a "man". Heh. Well then, what about YOUR ring finger?
Moving picturesLast Life in the Universe. An idyllic affair so light that it is untouched by the surrounding sleaze. Charming love story, sans roses and champagne. Instead, a man who cleans up after you. What's not to like, eh? ;-)
MOTDYeah, I know the comments are misbehaving again. Ignore the error message - your comments will get posted.
Intense. Very. Aileen Wuornos' (a transformed Charlize Theron) desperate need to be loved was made all the more poignant when even Selby (casting the doll-like Christina Ricci was perfect) used Aileen, albeit in her own childlike amoral way. The wide-eyed look of Aileen's young lesbian lover was juxtaposed with a sleazy assortment of middle-aged "johns". This culminates in the nonchalant and almost petulant manner that Selby points out the older woman in court.
Can you be with someone who is so different from your close (read: those who matter) friends?
Today's read"Furious, they yelled at the ushers, calling for ticket refunds and demanding to be let in."
So cultured, hor?
Now, I'm all for the consumer getting his money's worth, but let's spare a thought for OTHER people who paid good money for the performance too. On a related thought, the problem with the consumerist culture is that when everything is reduced to mere objects, some people forget that their maids are human beings like them too.
ThreesomeL is back for a holiday, and the trio will be going to the beach this weekend. Can't wait to bleed on the tracks again. Hop.
Indochine WismaClueless lamb, nah... make that old goat, sent to the sacrificial pit: "... I need your help... lost a bet... owe my friends a jug of beer... so I need you to help me... can my friends and I join your table..." (Do we look like ante to you?)
The education of said clueless old goat: "... yeah... but what's in it for us..." (Your so-not-funny attempt at humour???)
Still-clueless old goat trotting to certain death: "... what do you want... sausages?" (And someone almost got hot peppermint tea down his pants. Humour like that belongs in a Geylang karaoke pub, pal.)
Birthday wishesHappy birthday to you
May your "tao hua" bloom true
And the laughs keep on ringing
To summon your husband!
Happy [censored]st Birthday, Su Fei :-D
What am I?
"You have an entrancing kiss - the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he / she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time."
Generation gap?Was listening to the tea lady, a widow in her 50s, tell us why she has remained single in spite of the opportunities, and her search for that "electricity" with the right man, who her children would also approve of. She then mentioned one of her current prospects, who she was obviously interested in but her children disapproved - because he was married with children, AND his wife was still ALIVE. You could feel the silence thicken after that extra bit of information. I remember advising her to forget about him and making a snide remark that he must have said he didn't love his wife any more. (Actually, he said he did love her but he needed someone who could share his interest in the same social activities; not someone who was always too tired to go out and would rather stay home to do housework.) Even my married colleague, in her late 20s, joined in with a few careful words.
Imagine being disapproving to someone whose eldest son is just a few years younger than yourself. Bizarre.
RamblingsHow to weigh your Jack Russell, who won't stop thrashing about:
[You + Dog] - [You] = [Dog]. Voila.
"Were you from St Margaret Secondary School?" Someone saw my name on the company website, and called up to ask if I was her old classmate. Strange - it's not a common name. I wonder what my namesake looks like.
Have been slipping into... The Zone? Waking up every morning a little disoriented... head heavy with too many faces and places... fuzzy residue of meaningless dreams. Feeling disconnected from everyone. Maybe I've been sitting around too much and all the blood has gone to my ass.
Knees are hurting from the healing.
OppositesAccording to this, I may be predisposed to the following conditions: Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, autism, narcolepsy, Hodgkin's disease, multiple sclerosis, bipolar disorder and epilepsy.
Never a dull day when you're with me. Heh.
Do you know what they say about the quiet ones?
Our dentist was surprised that the soft-spoken one was the good friend of the vivacious one she called "The Laughing Patient" (I am tempted to say "Cow" but I don't fancy having "Laughing Cow" cheese cubes shoved up my nose) because she was always laughing on the chair. Ha. Ha. Moo. Ha.
Listen to yourselfWhen you need a listening ear, do you ever wonder if you wanted someone to listen to you, or did you just needed to listen to your own fears, your dreams, yourself?
Q&AA friend, M, was chatted up by a stranger whose opening line was: "Do you know you're very pretty?" (She IS pretty.) Yet another has a few male acquaintances who often remind her so in their conversations.
Do you approve of the stranger for having the guts to say what he really thought? Or do you think he should not have used that as an opening line, lest he seem "shallow"? What about the acquaintance who seems a tad too enthusiastic with his compliments?
I've been told that the lady should be gracious and accept a compliment. But doesn't it get a little strange, if not creepy, after a few times? (And I don't mean this coming from a boyfriend / husband.)
I want to know what you think. (Especially the guys.)
The Flame WarsHow easily a discussion or disagreement on the internet can erupt into "flaming". (And always an entertaining demonstration on what really pushes a person's buttons.)
I've seen and had my fair share of "flaming" on the University's bulletin boards. But firing up your flame-thrower in someone's blog is quite a different matter. I think of a blog as a "private space", as opposed to the relatively "public" bulletin boards. Notwithstanding that the internet is really an "open space", there are still netiquette and virtual boundaries to observe. In a way, an unwelcome "flamer" is like the house guest who forgets his manners.
That being said, the blogger needs to realise that a chit-chat in the canteen with friends is not the same as putting something on the internet - everything is logged, and reaches a potentially far wider, possibly unknown, even undesired, audience. It's not enough to say you will be responsible for what you write. Are you prepared for the reactions, both positive and negative, as well as the consequences? Will you allow a bad review spoil the rest of your day? Do you really want to spend that much time and effort defending your stand?
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
I once had an anonymous comment on my choice of topic. Though it was carefully worded, I was still indignant and obsessed about the identity of the poster - I had a closed readership and knew almost everyone on my list. Eventually, I took a break to cool down and reflect. I never did find out who the poster was, but it doesn't matter any more. Now, I think twice about what appears on my blog, and sometimes, I also edit / remove entries.
I've also decided on a less confrontational (and hopefully, also less offensive) manner to talk about topics that I've differing views - my own blog. Even if the blogger who I don't agree with happens to drop in and starts ranting or name-calling, I (would like to) think that I know myself well enough to ignore the baseless ravings, and reflect on the keener observations. As for the readers, those who matter to me have enough sense to assess my person for themselves. And if I really, really don't like what has been left in my comment box, I know how to work that delete function and I ain't afraid to use it. Smirk. Of course, nothing can be done if said blogger decides to "flame" me from his blog. But on MY site, I rule. Heh.
The Principle of Free-FallingIf you've gotta fall, you've gotta fall. Trying to catch yourself, to the amusement of your flailing limbs, and then deciding to break your fall when you realise that gravity will not be denied today, will only cost you more skin and blood. If you had allowed yourself to fall, your fat ass would have cushioned your fall, and it wouldn't have gotten skinned - unlike your sorry knees and palms - coz you'll be wearing shorts, right?
Anyway, sunny days at the beach are back. Hop :-)
IntimatePeople just need a listening ear. And on the internet, the world are your ears (and eyes). Even if they are just silent lurkers.
Et ceteraWhy is my sub-woofer making those popping sounds? Hmmm...
And try not to take everything I write, too literally. For example: "voyeuristic neighbours" and "fat ass" (coz my ass ain't that fat, ok). It's whatdoyoucallit, like "poetic licence". Like. Geddit?
"Rain rain go away, come again another day." (repeat 10x) My lame little prayer that the weather will hold up. Because the words have all been leached from me, and so I'm going out to do something physical.
Today's reads"Being a writer ...... depends mostly on whether or not you can, like Scheherazade, tell the stories each night hat'll keep you alive until tomorrow." Powderful words from THE Neil Gaiman.
"Chow ang mohs." I wonder if they are as ill-mannered back home.
MomentsSkin on skin. An "Intimate Stranger" or just a psycho who should have been shown the dark side?
SightWas going through an aspiring molehill of job applications and thought of sorting them according to the photos. Seeing as to how much effort some of the applicants had put into angling their faces and bodies to show off their best sides, some appreciation was due, yes? Anyway, SF thought photographs are mostly unnecessary - especially if you don't have any good angles. Heh. And I'll add, halter-necks and bare shoulders might disorientate the reviewer with all that blinding white flesh. Heh. Heh.
SmellWas mildly disturbed. I knew the perfume - Estee Lauder Sea Breeze or something. But it eluded me - because it was so wrong on her. There was just "no chemistry".
Translating love"There is something irresistible, to me, about the notion of two strangers in a foreign city who experience a fleeting but intense meeting of the minds."
Sometimes, it is only in acknowledging the transience and vulnerability of human encounters, that we will treasure what we have, and not take our loved ones for granted. And, it is surely better to know that we had truly loved, than constantly live in the shadows of regretful what-ifs.
Moving picturesFinally watched Kill Bill Vol. 1. Fascinating - human blood sprinklers. Can't wait for Volume Two.
And Sofia Coppola's Lost in Translation.
In progress: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Silver Hawk, Monster, those infamous ten minutes in Love Actually, and some CSI.
Today's readsHalf-time peep show.
Haiku me. 5-7-5. Promise I won't bite :-)
I likeThis. Magical.
Today's readsThe IKEA Walkthrough v2.3.1.
Tonight, my no-lifer neighbours in the opposite block were treated to more loud music, and repeats of my head thrown back in mimed laughter - a rare treat from the usual still-life pose. Don't you just love those text-based adventure games? :-)
And here's something when Christmas swings by 11 months from now.
Still haven't gotten enough of Matthew Baldwin? Here's more.