Which Punctuation Mark Are You?


Your Score: Quotation Marks

You scored 53% Sociability and 64% Sophistication!

"There is a lot more to you than meets the eye. You certainly get plenty of "action," but you'd be happier if those who lusted after you were more selective. You hate being used as a general intensifier; haven't these people ever heard of underlining? Italics? And yes, you remember the cruel words Mr. Joyce directed at you. But you let none of this get you down; those who abuse you are destined for a "special" reward, sooner or later. You feel particularly warm toward periods, commas, exclamation points, and question marks, and usually wish to have them next to you. Parenthesis can sometimes trouble you.

Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test


Spin Sisters

Someone reminded me about something today...

You know, I seriously think The Sister (the other one) is obsessed with gay men. It's like, everytime a man catches her attention, she goes: "Oh, looks like AJ hor! Kekeke!" (AJ = gay man) And she's always going on and on and on and on and on about her gay boyfriends, and how straight men are just "not 'man' enough". Wah lan eh, how to settle down with a straight man and get married like that?!!

My poor mother - she thinks the eldest is gay (excuse me, I lurrrve men hor, but then they don't seem to want to love me back leh); the second (unbeknownst to her) is a fag hag; and the third (also unbeknownst to her) is a cradle-snatcher (heh heh).

Speaking of which, I saw The Uncle at the train station today. Now, that one is definitely looking more and more AJ by the day. Heh. But I think everyone else is still in denial.


Urrrrggghhh

I guess I won't be getting a nose-piercing afterall.

Still, does anyone have first-hand experience of what the pain and healing process are like?






Ni Hao!

More WoW paraphernalia.






Idols and Idiots

So after all that's been said and blogged, the little sister asked me to present myself at her birthday party - so her colleague SH could meet me.

You see, my "heow kah chng" sister (expression picked up from The King of Heow himself over breakfast) had showed my blog to SH (who, by the way, seems like a really nice young woman - and I'm not just saying this because she now reads my blog... no, really) who upon introduction, proceeded to gush about my blog and declared me her "ou xiang" and suggested that I bring her on a dive trip (she just got her Open Water licence) and asked for a photo together (and she kinda talks like that too). I kid you not. Heh. Don't play play okayyyyy.

Anyway, here's something useful to know. Men who want to chat up a woman about her tattoo should not ask her stupid questions like "Was it painful?" and then give her a long, incredulous really-look when she tells you in all reallyyyyy-honesty, "Not really." Ditto asking why she has it on a "not-here-not-there" place, instead of say, her lower back where she can more easily "show" it. Firstly, it's easy enough to "show" when I feel like "showing" it, and I'm usually not a very feeling person when I'm at work - which is most of the time. Secondly, I can't help it if your eyes are stuck to the front of your face as opposed to, oh I dunno, the top of your head - also known as the highest possible point which would just about put you at eye level with a place otherwise known as "not-here-not-there". Cough.






Laughter is the Best Medicine

Absolutely hilarious.


Tales from the Asylum - Man overboard!

Bye bye.

It was only a matter a time, after we had rocked the boat as hard as we could, that he would leave.

And now that we've gotten rid of the remaining two lowest denominators, it's time to get down to some real work. Raise whip.






Squeak!







Day 202







Don't Sister You Already!

So your little sister is celebrating her 30th this weekend.

You are looking forward to welcoming her into Club 30.

But you realise that doesn't necessarily put the 2 of you in the same league.

For one thing, your little sister says you can't attend her birthday bash at St James because she thinks you'll just get smashed again and have to be hauled to the toilet (where you will find yourself looking into the bowels of a toilet bowl and swearing this is absolutely the last time) and then back to the drinking table, and then to the toilet again (to complete the rest of your sworn oath), and then shortly after, have to be packed into a homebound cab (because your little sister is too smashed herself to drag you to the toilet a third time).

WTF?!!!






In Retrospect

"In the 6th lunar month from 19 July to 18 August 2007, you must have your own perspective and plans. If you can reflect on what you want ahead in 2008 and 2009, now is the time to make your plans. For instance, if you have opportunities to "move out" for work, grab this chance to upgrade yourself. Be careful of other's people's affairs. Try your best to maintain diligence and go about your work quietly. Do not overperform or try to outshine. Let other people have a chance to shine. Observe the goings-on quietly."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yeah, someone shone alright. And not a word of thanks.

Anyway.

Accordingly to another fengshui man that one of the inmates just consulted, the yin in the asylum is too strong - too many women - and "even got men also being covered". Doesn't help either that the building is 20 years old and next to the dead.






Let's go diving - again

20-25 December 2007: Pulau Weh, Aceh, Indonesia

* XXXL sea life (steroid-pumped, as somone described it) and deep dive (and my first decompression dive - about 15 minutes bottom time and 40 minutes to de-co) to the World War 2 wreck Sophie Rickmers.

3-9 February 2008: Palau, Micronesia

* 'Mecca' and Jellyfish Lake! 'nuff said.






Laughter is the Best Medicine

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised no rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians stated they were all labouring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the Pathologists yelled: "Over my dead body!", while the Paediatricians said: "Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Physicians thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said: "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some Asshole in administration.


(Source: Anonymous)


Tales from the Asylum:
It takes a rat to smell another

Queen "But-Nobody-Told-Us-Ya-Right" Bitch decided to pull yet ANOTHER fast one with one of her cleverly worded tai chi emails; this time highlighting a lapse in the workflow - of which she is an integral part of - but which, of course, being a lapse, couldn't have had anything to do with her. At all. (Ya right.)

Funny how Miss Congeniality's recent emails sound just like that.






Bring it

. . . . . 'I went to a sheepdog exhibition in Australia and the chap with the whistle, he had three sheepdogs and he could get a whole flock of sheep corralled, brought down, put into the pen.

'So we asked him, 'How do you train the dog?' He said, 'We have a way of doing this, but you must first decide whether that dog can do this job.'

'I said, 'How do you do it?'

'He said, 'Look at his eyes, look at his pedigree. If the dog hasn't got the eyes that will look into a sheep and scare the sheep into doing this, don't try.'

. . . . . It's about what Mr Cropper would say, in sleek corporate lingo, 'congruent communication'.

'Everything - your eyes, your voice, your actions - must be aligned with what you are saying,' he said.

After all, a sheepdog doesn't just stare.

It barks and bites, too.

(Source: "Do the eyes have it?" The New Paper. 13 August 2007.)


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Let's just say that lately, I am being watched from all quarters, literally.

It's a good thing that I can return as good a stare as I get.

(I just have to remind myself to keep the spittle in.)






So, what was it?

Fascinating - I actually saw this in Lombok too. I thought it was an asteroid.

So, does anyone know what it really was?






Day 193







Day 191







M O T D

Lombok 9-13 August 2007.

Happy National Day everyone!


PS: And yes, I know.






Some Like It Tight

The Lombok trip is tomorrow - we heard about the cold waters and got ourselves hoods.

I am pleased to report that the hood is so fucking tight that no water is getting in - in fact, I don't think my head can fucking come out either. Hello, Hood Squeeze! I forget that not only do I have a big head, it's a long one too.

Anyway, the dive centre has confirmed water temperatures at 26-28 degree Celcius. Here's hoping the temperatures don't drop to the lower limits as often. Whimper.






Tales from the Asylum - The Reaper Speaks

An inmate confessed that she looked forward most to working on Project A, which because of the nature of the work, puts her on the receiving end of Nice People who are generous with their compliments and who are generally more appreciative of her efforts. (Except for the occasional asshole who just has to give someone a hard time - and I can always tell when she puts down the phone in her usual unfailingly polite manner, and then mutters "Stupid!")

It certainly explains why, in contrast, Project B seems to be languishing, which because of the nature of the work, puts her on the other receiving end of Not-Very-Nice People who have grievances and for whom appreciation is the farthest thing, if not non-existent, from their minds.

Ergo, the more time said inmate DECIDES she has to spend on Project A, the less remaining time she has for Project B, so it's really not her fault that the latter is languishing. Alternatively, just blame it on the grunt who suddenly found herself facing the mob, for doing a crappy job supporting her on Project B.

Seriously, what's with these Striped Ones and their constant need for attention and to look good at someone else's expense? Roll eyes.

Anyway - while I really shouldn't be surprised (read: I had it coming - just like a couple of ex-inmates and soon-to-be-ex-inmate had it going) - it seems I am now known as The Reaper. WTF.


PS: Have I mentioned that Miss Bodoh-wood has finally gotten the message and decided to self-discharge herself end of this month?






Day 183



In The Mood for Love

The bed with all its... past is gone.

Next week, the airconditioning finally gets fixed.

And then it's time for another spring-cleaning.

Just in time, I hope...






Hmmm...

Sudden onset of headache and nausea.

Tightness in chest.

Body aches.

No fever... yet...

Hmmm...


Bitter Medicine

What can I do but hope that just by listening, I would have helped relieve you of a little of your emotional burden - though I know you know that I do not approve of the situation and your choices, I know too that it is not the 'bitter medicine' that you seek now.

And in truth - deny it all you want - you are not as helpless as you want to believe. This pain you bear now is the only connection, however tenuous, that now remains, and reminds you of that, which you want to believe is still there - in spite of everything that tells you otherwise.

I wonder why some women allow themselves to be thus abused.

But you know, men are such bastards.