Day 120







Day 119







Day 118







Day 117

Malapascua when I next open my eyes to a new dawn!

I have a good feeling about this trip.

We are definitely going to be seeing many, many thresher sharks. And I think they would be very, very happy to see me too

Because I'm currently shark bait. Again. Dammitttt...

I fucking hate tampons.






Day 116

Rawwwrrr!!!






Day 115

This pond is no longer big enough for all of us - and for me.


Starry, Starry Night

More fun stuff.

Are you a Sword, Pine, River, Sun, Castle, Diamond, Orchid, Cloud, Star or Garden? And if you are a River, are you a River of Wealth or a River of Multi-Colours? Are you a Lucky Sword, or mayhaps the Sword of a King? (You'll need the time you were born.)

Would you also like to know what your life companion would be like? (Ignore the Chinese introduction; the results will be in English.)

Or have you been looking for a new job? (Register and you can do this one for free.)

While we're here, I'm absolutely delighted that according to Superfate, The Ex's "life companion may have these characteristics: spoiled and pampered; has an unpredictable temper; not easy to please; easily offended or resentful towards you. She is often angry over tiny things, but can never understand what it was about. And she always changes her preferences, so can be unpredictable. Even though she appears spoiled and a bit arrogant, she has a fragile heart, and needs to be cared for and loved. She is full of passion and easily touched, and has a unique characteristic that people cannot help but want to pamper and take care of her. She is a slim, delicate, and elegant looking woman."

I'll drink to that anytime - every single word. Cheers.






Day 114

Grilled chicken with black pepper sauce at Blue Mist, Amara Shopping Centre.

Yums.


Star-crossed

It's hard to flirt with someone when you can't tell half the time if he's even looking at you.

And then you wonder whether to laugh when you realise that there are moments when his eyes are capable of focusing for several minutes - on your chest... and the Mystic Knot which he finds so intriguing.






Day 113



Holy Moley!

Here's something fun to do.

All you need is a full-length mirror and possibly a hand-held one too if you are not particularly flexible. And oh, remember to lock your bedroom door while you're at it. Heh.


Marrying a Woman

Mr Chua would not tell me his name at first.

"Well, if you don't give me your FULL NAME, I'm afraid I won't be able to check which one of my colleagues had tried to call you an hour ago." I could feel my inner Bastard Admin Lady's hot breath misting a very thin veneer of patience.

"I. Need. Your. Full. Name."

"C...H...U...A..." He starts to spell his name.

"Ahhh. You can just tell me your name." Please don't tell me you can't pronounce your own name.

"You want my full name right?"

"Yahhh..."

"C...H...A...B...O..."

"Harrr???" Ohhh, you have so got to be kidding me.

"Cha Bo," he mumbles as he quickly retreats into a palpable silence.

"Oh." Ohhh, this is so going into the blog.

I could barely keep my voice level as I announced Mr Chua's full name over the intercom. It was a good thing that half the office (the giggly half) was already gone by then.






Day 112

Malapascua in 5 days.


Because she's not "foreign talent" mah!

So there was Miss Body Beautiful, whose talent was her pretty face and endearing smile that made you forgive her flaky answers, AND who went on to win (deservingly so, IMHO) the Miss Singapore Universe crown later in the evening).

And then there was Miss Confirmed-Cannot-Make-It-As-NMP (and incidentally the second runner-up) whose talent was in sticking her foot so far down her throat it went right through all 178 cm of her.

When asked which sport she thought Singapore was most likely to score its first Olympic gold, the 19-year-old quickly drew a distinction between our native and "foreign" sporting talents. Of the former, she thought it would be the sailors. And of the latter, well, it was really up to Singapore to import "foreign talents" for the particular sport(s) they wanted to win in - just like what they did for table-tennis, right? ("We will win in whichever sport the Sports Association decides to import foreign talent for. Just look at table tennis.")

Bright smile for the camera.

Pause for witty response to draw laughter from audience.

Camera pans to silent - and grim - audience. Even the hosts were speechless. (And all around Singapore, a collective DOH!)

Oopsss...

You know, I can't wait for the day when Singapore starts importing beauty pageant contestants too.






Day 111

A very wet purple shirt.


But Why?

Because one smile is all you get.

And if that's still not enough, too bad for you. (Not for me - because I wasn't even interested. But I'm sure we'll see each other again when I'm back.)






Day 110



In Retrospect

"In the second lunar month from 19 March to 18 April 2007, no matter what you do, you must maintain your calm. Don't have conflicts and don't meddle in other people's affairs to avoid being dragged down or schemed against. Your performance will cause jealousy and envy and they will find ways to bring you down. So you must be very careful. In people's relations, do not be careless."

So spake Master Bok.

Yes, Master.

Simmers in silence.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


"Interesting, right?"

"Hmmm. So what now???"

"So nothing. It doesn't change 'things' and I'm not about to start avoiding her, if that's what you mean. But it's certainly interesting, yes?"


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


"You have been in the sun?"

Nodnod.

Which was not so much a question about the sun per se, given the obvious conclusion that I must have been in the sun. (Duh.)

But the question is, really, where else do you think has been - or not - in the sun?

PS: I hate these hormonal surges. Goddammit.






Day 109

Must. Lose. Weight.


It's a Cow...It's a Horse...It's...

A series of photos of me looking like Lumpy the Lard Girl suffering from a bad, very bad case of water retention.

And those saddlebags...aaarrrggghhh!!!

I think I just went blind.

I hate Google.

I am so depressed now :-(((






Day 108

Another early 11-ish night. (Read: No WoW leh!)

I think I'm falling sick.






Day 107

Century eggs and white wine.

It's interesting - in a good way (that is, if you like century eggs) - but hard to describe. You just have to try it for yourself.


It's Shag Time



Many thanks to The Koyak One, I have discovered the ultimate alarm clock, made for logs like me.

Clocky is an alarm clock that not only runs away and hides when you don't wake up, but also - and this is a critical feature considering the number of suicide falls my nightstand has witnessed - can survive 3-feet falls.

Following Clocky's leap to freedom, he will move around for 30 seconds in different directions even as the alarm continues to sound. And in the not-unlikely scenario that "Operation Clocky" still fails to get me out of bed, no worries.

Introducing "Operation Dogs-Gone-Wild" who on hearing the commotion in my room, rush in to investigate. On seeing a strange furry object moving erratically around my room - not unlike the occasional flying cockcroach (wellll, how do you think cockcroaches find their way into 12th floor apartments - take the stairs???) - erupt into fierce barking and attempt to jump Clocky, alternating between nipping at it and using the sides of their bodies to hold Clocky down - also not unlike the way they kill the occasional cockcroach.

All of which, will eventually get me out of bed - if not from the kerfuffle, then the thought of having to cough out another US$49 to replace a broken and disembowelled Clocky.

And oh, there won't be none of that boring Almond White or ridiculous Aqua and Mustard Orange versions for me. I'm getting me a Clocky in Shaggg. Yeah, baby, yeah.






Day 106



Thud!

"Good afternoon, commander," said Otto Chriek cheerfully, appearing at the doorway. "I haf set up a bench and zer light is just right for colour!"

Vimes had to agree that it was. Thunder light made the mountains gleam like gold. In the middle distance, the Tears of the King fell in a line of glittering silver. Brightly coloured birds skimmed through the air. And all the way up the valley there were rainbows.

~ Thud! by Terry Pratchett






Day 105

... h uuuuuu m iiiiiiii d ...


New Age Love

Love by numbers.

I think CirCe could take a page from here? Grin.






Day 104







Day 103

Note to self: Return to No. 5 for the garlic wedges and 4-cheeses pizza.


I'm really a very nice person, can't you tell?

Mogwai-who-seems-to-like-me told me that Gremlim-who-goes-out-of-her-to-avoid-me had declined to join us for lunch when she found out I was going along as well.

"Awww. But why? I wouldn't have minded. I wouldn't even have minded sitting next to her. In fact, I WANT to sit right next to her."

And Mogwai laughed aloud in merriment.

What can I say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And I am just bursting with unrequited affection.






Day 102

Zzzz...






Day 101

And I just couldn't stop smiling.


Search Me

what+does+cicada+feed+on

I'll tell you what.

Cicada feeds on evil gremlimsssss!!!


Six Weird Things About Me

Tagged by Butter Boy.

These are the rules:

Each player of this game starts out by giving six weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own six weird things - each one somehow related to the six listed by the one who tagged you (e.g. something similar or pick a word used) - as well as state the rules - your rules - clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

- 1 -

I cannot bear listening to my recorded voice. And then I freak out when I realise that's also the same voice that everyone else is hearing. It's like, being caught naked, or something. Gaaahhh!

- 2 -

I often 'see things' out of the corner of my eyes. I have since decided that it's just a case of really screwed-up eyes than anything supernatural.

- 3 -

I have this thing about smell. I will take shallower breaths or even hold my breath in the proximity of people I don't like (even complete strangers walking towards me).

Conversely, I have been drawn irresistably to people if I am taken by the way they smell. Not so much smelling like perfume from the bottle, but body chemistry. There's something wonderfully sensuous (even sensual) about inhaling another person and feeling his ethereal presence envelope all my senses. On occasion, I have also been suddenly hit by a person's smell (or mere memory??? not when it feels like he's just next to me) when I'm working at my computer or just walking on the streets.

- 4 -

I have six toes on my left foot - the last two are fused but have separate nail beds. My parents never saw the need to send me for surgery - Mum said it was my lucky toe.

- 5 -

I use coloured pens at work. I... likeee colours.

- 6 -

People often mistake my quietness and intense gaze for "still waters". No, seriously, I'm just obsessing about the spots on your face and the shape (or lack thereof) of your lips.


I TAG:

Only - and only - CirCe, because she is weird enough for 6 people put together.






Day 100



Tis The Season to be a "Silly Giggly Mass"

You know how some grown women can be reduced to a puppy-eyed "silly giggly mass" in the presence of certain men?

I didn't know that some grown men can also be reduced to a puppy-eyed "silly giggly mass mess" in the presence of certain women.

(Leans away very, very carefully.)


Words



Because I Said So

Watch this romantic comedy only if you are a fan of the eternally girlishly charming Diane Keaton or you dig guys with disarming smiles (even if they are ang mohs, heh).


Isn't Gabriel Macht just sooo cute with that smile? I swear my heart beats a little faster each time he smiles in the movie (plus he's clean-shaven in the movie) - and he smiles A LOT.

Except...

There are just two very little things...


Ahhhh. Much, much better now :-D

Hint: Because SF said (or would) so.






Day 99



Something Really Funny

What do you get when you mate a shih-tzu with a jack russell?

According to The Flying Dutchman on today's 95FM morning show:

"A Jack Shi(h)t!"

Hahahahahaha!!!


And Then There Was Crazy

No.

Seriously.

How do people get off denying a piece of work was not done properly by pretending that the problem did not exist; and then when presented with the existence of a very obvious problem, blame it on the person who brought it to their attention???

Hallo, you think you fucking Jedi "just-wave-hand-and-everything-no-more-problem" Master izit?


Now Meet Scary



WAH LAN EH*.

Seeing this in the bright daylight at a crowded bus-stop is just not the same as spotting it from more than 100 metres away and then having to avert my eyes while waiting for a cab close to midnight along a quiet stretch of the CBD. Ghost see already also scared man.

As my mum would say in Cantonese: "Gam watt tatt!"


*(I don't care what you all say about my horror movies. This is just GROSS!!!)






Day 98

I likeee.






Day 97

Thank you very much for waking me up on a non-working day because your head wasn't quite working on the working day before.






Day 96







Day 95







Day 94



I See Butt-Naked People

I have been remembering my dreams the past few nights.

And it's causing me some distress.

You see, this usually happens when work has been particularly stressful, the reminder of which makes me feel even more stressed about work! Also, the dreams tend to be really bizarre (or maybe it just seems so because I can remember them the next morning).

For instance, I haven't figured out why The Best Friend would be wandering around in my dream with only a cropped tank top and a G-string, especially when we were in a public space with a lot of other people. I remember only thinking, as those bronzed moulds of symmetry and perfect roundness that left nothing to the imagination filled my visual field from left to right and right to left, that I never realised just how generously proportioned The Butt Best Friend really was. And of course too, how nonchalant she seemed about her state of undress... how confident and at ease she was as she moved - almost with pride - through the crowd.

I reckon though, that the dreamee might be starting to feel more distressed than the dreamer... right about now. Laugh.

But if it's any reassurance at all, I would like to declare that I was neither turned on, nor off (just in case The Best Friend decides to read too much between the crack, eh I mean, lines). Heh.

And really, I should stop clicking through to sites like this.






Day 93







Day 92

A cicada a day keeps the gremlims away.






Day 91

"Workin', workin', workin', workin'..."


Crazy is as Crazy does

And then Crazy unplugged the computer - while I was STILL on it.

. . . . . .

Bad gremlim! Bad BAD gremlim!!!